Not sure how I feel. Google is now my longest running gig, overtaking public school. I have a ton of gratitude for the kindness and support that the people in this company offer and the opportunities it has provided. Oh and...
- This job finally got me out of financial precarity. With total comp it was 6x what I was earning a few years earlier. I had so undervalued myself. And this was in the midst of the great recession.
- It took a while, but I eventually found my groove, and have had so many chances to reinvent myself.
- When calamity struck 6 years ago people where there for me and I had the time to attend to family. And now as I'm going through another rough patch I've found compassion and understanding.
Much, much gratitude.
That said as the company has changed I've less-and-less identified myself as a Googler. I often feel reluctant admitting it in the alternative public spaces I inhabit.
I guess I recognize that the sociotechnical systems we build can reinforce the inequity of our society and extract or destroy the rich "variety" of the world.. I often yearn for a future where we can focus on "stuff that doesn't scale": the human, the physical and local connections.
With that I believe that my contribution, overall, is a net positive to the good in the world. It's hard to quantify and I grapple with it.
So yes, this job does indeed go to 11! Here's to the embracing the present moment and the scary unknown future!!